Local Bachelor Won’t Floss Again For Another Year Because He Bled Last Time 

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“That’s why I never floss, because every time I do it I bleed!” explained a frustrated Jeremy Hawkes (26).

Jeremy has found himself in a tough catch-22 situation with his oral health as the main loser in the situation.

Dentists, however, remain unmoved by his plight, insisting that bleeding is exactly why he should floss more often.

Jeremy insists he’s not scared of blood.

Friends have noted that he owns three different electric toothbrushes, all of which sit unused in his bathroom as he sticks with his classic analog brush.

“It just feels like I get more coverage with the old school brush”

“I’m just waiting for floss technology to catch up with my needs” Jeremy added, confidently predicting the invention of blood-free flossing any day now

Meanwhile, his sink currently resembles a crime scene, with no signs of being cleaned up.

Health experts say gum bleeding is a sign of neglect, but Jeremy maintains it’s actually his body’s way of telling him to stop doing it immediately.

Flatmates confirmed they could hear muffled swearing from the bathroom, followed by the sound of a mouthwash bottle being violently slammed shut.