Local Bachelor Wakes Up Extremely Hungover After Going Out With A Chick Who Went To Uni In Canberra

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

“This is the worst hangover I’ve had since I polished off a goonbag of fruity lexia after losing the colts grand final in 2014” he says.

“I’m some in some hurt here, brother”

Braddon Lazarus (31, French Quarter) liked to imagine himself as somewhat of a lagerman, but last night, things got away from him.

As he makes the windy trek to his pathology job in town this morning, Braddon carries a great deal of shame over having a midweek blow out.

Even worse, he was drunk under the table by a woman who wouldn’t weigh half as much as him wringing wet.

And it was a date.

There’s quite a lot that Braddon hasn’t made sense of yet. But he does remember having a fun time. He also remembers hearing a lot about Canberra.

“I don’t think she was from Canberra” he says.

“But it did form a large part of her identity. She seems to know the place like the back of her hand. She was quite good company so I didn’t mind hearing extremely mundane facts about different ethnic clubs that served cheap drinks ten years ago”

As Braddon massages his temples, he begins turning the rusted cogs in his brain in a desperate attempt to peace together what happened last night.

“So it was kind of a blind date. She’s friends with the wife of this mate from work”

“Anyway, we met at some sort of sushi joint. I didn’t really expect to be be drinking. But she got me on the highball”

“And then she tells me she wants to go to some pub gig. Couple more beers there. At this point it’s her world and I’m just living in it”

As he goes onto explain, the pub gig was then followed by karaoke. They went with a group. He can’t really remember who they were or how they all met.

“I’m certain we sang a duet. I don’t know how she got me up there. I’ve never done that in my life. We were drinking these fluro blue drinks. Then all of a sudden we are alone again at some Korean BBQ joint. It’s like a second date”

“Anyway, I’m hearing all these yarns about house parties with the Peking Duk boys and extremely niche references to the ACT Brumbies golden era”

He suddenly remembers the Canberra connection.

“Yeah she went to uni there. That’s right.”

“Fuck me. Sounds like a wild town for students”

“Anyway, I’m pretty sure my car got towed and now she’s messaging me asking what’s on this weekend”

“She sounds fresh as a daisy”