Irishman In Australia Vows To Persist With Polyester Gaelic Football Jersey No Matter How Hot It Gets

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

After completing his 88 days of visa obligations by picking fruit over the winter months in Coffs Harbour, recently-arrived Irishman Tomás Mac Curtain (21) really has no idea how fucking hot it gets in Australia.

In fact, he doesn’t really buy into this whole ‘land of extremes’ narrative.

“Ye’d have lads strollin’ about in hoodies, in August, like.”said Tomás.

“Ye think that’s cold. Try Sligo of a February morning. Now thats feckin cold”

So far, the Australian housing crisis has failed to make him wince either. As someone who lived in Dublin before migrating to Australia, Tomás knows the pain of having a property market beholden to a select generation of millionaire investors all too well.

He also doesn’t think the cost-of-living crisis is too grim either. Pints cost the same, and he doesn’t really spend much on anything else. Just the gym membership, bargain bin cuts of meat and the occasional Sunday roast.

Living in a share-house of sharerooms in Sydney’s South-East, the bills are split eight-ways between similarly rural irishmen and one of their Spanish girlfriends. Not one of them has purchased a new item of clothing since arriving.

Because Irishmen in their 20s do not wear anything except for blue denim slim cut jeans and their hometown polyester Gaelic football jerseys. If they are exercising, they’ll wear their hometown polyester gaelic football shorts as well.

However, with the late October sun starting to bump the daily temperatures beyond 30 degrees celsius, questions have arisen over whether Tomás and his mates will be able to continue wearing the jet black and extremely clammy jersey.

“and wear what, like?” scowls the construction labourer, between shovel loads of cut up concrete.

He grabs the neckline of his Sligo GAA jersey, which is also his workwear, and explians.

“This is a high performance fabric with an ultra-soft feel. Ye can be wearin’ it in any weather at all, so ye can.”