Intellectual Longing For A Tool Tour Now Forced To Mingle With People Who Don’t Know What A Fibonacci Sequence Is

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local Tool fan is experiencing some mixed emotions today, after discovering that his favourite intellectual rock band will be touring Australia for the first time in five years – only this time, as part of a music festival.

As a person who prides himself on his intellectual prowess, this has left Daniel Raynor, 36,  grappling with feelings of both excitement and disgust, now that the only way to experience seeing his favourite band live on stage is by mingling with the great unwashed.

Our reporter, who was waiting in line for a cafe, sparked up a conversation after spotting him wearing a Tool shirt.

A decision she quickly came to regret.

“Hmm yes…I was doing some light reading on the Falklands war when one of my comrades sent me this…what is it called…Good Things lineup?”, explains Daniel, as took a sip of his double black coffee, “it behooves me to go, but I can’t say the idea of being around a Weezer fan is a tantalising notion for me.”

“Still, one must suffer sometimes to enjoy art.”

Daniel says he was really hoping Tool would do a solo tour, as he prefers being around people who are ‘on his level.’

He also doubts a fan of Gwar would understand or appreciate the genius of a band like Tool.

“I bet they don’t even know what a Fibonacci sequence is, the fools!”, he chortles.

“Can you imagine?”

More to come.