ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Federal Government is tipped to ban all flights from India today as the country struggles to cope with a massive spike in spicy cough cases.

Home Affairs Minister Karen Andrews said that because an Indian person caused the lockdown in Perth and is largely responsible for a lot of human suffering in the country (for example the people who arrived from Perth to Brisbane just after midnight and have to put their feet up in a hotel for two weeks) there needs to be a solution to the “Indian problem”.

“We need to make sure Indian people stop coming here,” said Andrews.

“Because they have the virus.”

These developments come from a government that never considered banning all flights from the USA during their apocalyptic winter of death last year, where cases were exploding by the hundreds of thousands each week.

In particular, wealthier Australians have been able to travel almost unencumbered between here and America since the pandemic began. The only looming issue being where to spend the two weeks in bed.

Andrews explained during a morning interview with The Advocate that there are many things different between India and America that make banning flights from India the sensible thing to do.

“To me, India just looks so dirty. From all the pictures. I mean, just look at the photos. You can pretty much see the virus crawling all over the crowds. Gosh, it’s just so crowded in India, which is the problem,” she added.

“Whereas in America, there are Australians that live in places like New York, Los Angeles and Silicon Valley that contribute so much to the national interest, both here and in the United States. I guess the same goes for the UK. We could never ban flights from countries that have real Australians living there. You know, ones that love sport like Test cricket and field hockey. I mean rugby league and Victorian kick-backs,”

“You know what I mean?”

More to come.


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