Inbetweeners Reunion Set To Follow The Pussay Patrol On A Blackpool Stag-Do Before Jay Marries A Russian Bride From The Internet

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

In some big news for millennials with a case of arrested development, the British coming-of-age comedy series ‘The Inbetweeners’ is being revived, fifteen years after the series finale.

Speaking to an inside source, The Advocate learns the movie will focus on Jay Cartwright, who’s the last of the four to get married.

Having not seen each other for several years, the movie will lead with Simon, Will, and Neil reluctantly agreeing to revive the ‘pussay patrol’ after they all receive a mysterious group text from Jay confirming he’ll ‘only be diving in one clunge from now on.’

The four men will be at various stages of a midlife crisis, with Simon going through his second divorce, Will working a mid-level office job he believes is ‘beneath him’, and Neil still living with his gay dad.

The movie will follow their disastrous stag do in Blackpool, which will feature at least one slapstick gag involving bodily fluids, and the boys discovering that Jay is not marrying a beautiful supermodel he met on Raya, but a fifty-seven-year-old Russian mail-order bride named Svetlana.

This will then culminate in a scene where Simon accuses Jay of being a failure who needs to grow up because ‘being a bellend isn’t cute when you’re forty.’

Jay then retorts that Simon clearly doesn’t know much about being a success either, given that he’s ‘given more rings than Neil’s father’ and that Will’s nothing more than a LinkedIn wanker with a stuck-up wife who hates him.

Neil, ever the pacifist, tries to mediate the situation, before copping a fly by that he and his misso are ‘still living in his dad’s sex dungeon.’

An upset Jay then breaks off the wedding and runs away, leaving Will, Simon, and Neil to break the news to a confused Svetlana, who now must return home.

However, they quickly realise that Svetlana is somehow even more of a degenerate than Jay is, and that they may have ruined his once-in-a-lifetime chance of love.

The movie ends with the four unlikely friends unearthing Simon’s old yellow Fiat Cinquecento and rushing to the airport, where Svetlana informs Jay she never wants to go back to Russia, as the only Putin she likes is it ‘being putin her arse.’

The epilogue scene shows Simon hitting things off with Svetlana’s cousin, Tatjana, Will finally standing up to his wife, who is instantly turned on by his new assertive version of him, and Neil giving a big speech to his dad about needing independence and moving out (and then moving in next door).

More to come.