“I Could’ve Won This Bitch” Mutters Jaded Ex-Cop Forced To Sit In The Back Row

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Sitting well away from the media, up in the back row with largely unknown Liberal MPs like Tony Pasin and Ross Vasta, a jaded ex-cop sunk back in his seat and muttered to himself that he could’ve done a whole lot better than ScoMo Folau at this election.

“This is fucking bullshit,” said Dutton.

“I could’ve won this bitch. God damn it!”

Ross put his hand on Peter’s shoulder and asked him if he could perhaps calm down a bit and stop swearing in front of the other faceless MPs that ultimately voted for ScoMo in last years spill.

“Don’t you think you should be happy for him? Be happy for the party?” asked Vasta.

“Fuck off, Ross,” said Dutton.

“Arsehole.”

Hearing that and feeling his ears burn, Kevin Andrews turned around in his seat to see what the commotion was up in the nosebleed section.

“What are you looking at, Kevin? You pencil-necked bedwetter! Fucking plastic bedsheet boy.’

Kevin turned back to the stage.

“That should be me up there. Fuck this shit.”

More to come.