Husband Loses Right To Comment On Any Reno Decisions For 24 Hours After Suggesting Cool Lighting

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local man has been banned from having any input on renovation decisions for the next 24 hours, after making the rookie error of suggesting cool lighting.

Visiting a lighting store in the french quarter, originally called ‘Betoota Lighting’, Ben Smyth quickly learned that not only is fluorescent lighting apparently an assault against the senses, but that he also apparently had a screw loose for even suggesting it.

“What about this one babe, that could be nice”, said Ben, somehow managing to pick the most unflattering light bulb in the entire store, “that could be nice for the living room.”

Failing to see the store clerk shoot him a warning look, Ben made the situation all the worse by suggesting that lighting could also be used in the kitchen too.

“I think pendant lights over the kitchen island might be a bit too much, maybe we should just keep it simple.”

Browsing the back of a lightbulb packet named ‘Stark white’, Ben takes a few moments to realise his wife, Tegan, is death staring him with the full fury of the sun.

“Cool lighting!? Really Ben? Why don’t we put grey carpet on all the hardwood floors while we’re at it. May as well paint over the fucking beams!”

“Let’s paint the bedroom wall aubergine while we’re at it!”

Ben is too afraid to admit he doesn’t know what’s wrong with anything Tegan just said, but he at least has the decency to look ashamed.

“I am not having my living room look like a gynaecologist clinic.”

More to come.