Human statue really wished he tried harder at school

23 August, 2016. 16:45

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ERNEST LUDERICK HAS A LOT of time to think about his life and where things went wrong.

He’s not unemployed, nor is he underemployed. Whether it was a youth misspent smoking reefer between drama classes or his inability to respect authority – he’s still unsure.

But for the past four years, the 46-year-old has been a human statue.

You’d most likely find him somewhere around Brisbane’s King George Square or South Bank Broadwalk from mid-morning to the late afternoon. Needless to say, behind his dead eyes, he’s wondering how he ever got in this mess.

“When I was a boy, I wanted to be a bus driver,” he said.

“But after years of huffing deodorant in high school, I developed epilepsy which quickly extinguished any hopes I had of ever operating heavy equipment professionally,”

“So naturally, I had to identify what I was best at in life, which was doing fuck all and drama. Becoming a human statue came naturally after that, but I really wish I tried a bit harder in school. Seriously. Nobody wants to be a human statue.” he said.

The Caboolture-native said he plans to expand his operation in the lead-up to summer this year, with him spying potential new locations such as midway across the Go-Between Bridge and beside the statue of Bernard Fanning on Vulture Street.

After a fruitless winter period posing beside the statue of The BeeGees in Redcliffe, he explained to The Advocate that he’s had to go back to the drawing board many times to perfect his act before the warmer months.

“It’s hard to be a human statue beside a real statue. It’s an advanced move that requires months of dedication and Valium to perfect. I’m confident I can pose beside Bernard Fanning this year and really blow some minds.” he said.