ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Speaking exclusively to The Advocate this afternoon via a local clairvoyant medium, the 17th Prime Minister of Australia, Harold Holt, has revealed for the first time what happened to him off Victoria’s Cheviot Beach back in 1967.

“I was on the sauce,” said Holt through the mouth of French Quarter medium, Denise Pearlman.

‘Quite heavily, in fact.”

Mrs Pearlman dropped to the floor as soon as she made contact with Mr Holt’s spirit and began writhing around as she yelled in tongues.

“That day, I was on it big time. You know what they say about getting into the surf after you’ve been on the sauce. It’s bad, bad news,”

“Next thing I know, I’m caught in a rip. Still sauced out of my mind, mind you! Then all of a sudden, I’m up here in heaven playing air hockey with Edmund Barton while Walt Disney packs us a cone each,”

“And that’s about it.”

Our reporter, concerned for the welfare of Mrs Pearlman, who’d now been seizing, fitting and yelling at the top of her lungs for the past 45 minutes, decided to conclude the interview there.

More to come – once Mrs Pearlman is up to it again.


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