Greens Staffers Furious As HQ Relocates From Inner-City Melbourne To The Bogan Caliphate Of Queensland

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Guttural moans could be heard echoing down the streets of Melbourne’s inner-northside this week, as it became clear that the Greens Party is moving to Queensland.

This means their political and campaign staffers either have to get used to drinking XXXX, or they can go find a job with the teals.

The cruel and unfair ultimatum follows this afternoon’s announcement that Queensland Senator Larissa Waters has been chosen as party’s new leader, replacing the ousted Melbourne MP Adam Bandt.

The new leader will have her work cut out for her, as she works to resuscitate the party after losing four lower house seats at the 2025 Federal Election.

However, with 11 seats in the senate, and a Queenslander in charge – the party is in the best position they’ve ever been to claw their way back.

As was proven in 2022, The Greens run their best election campaigns when led from the North. In 2025, it became clear that the party focused less on the Queensland playbook, and instead returned to their inner-city Melbourne talking points.

With the party’s leadership now being based out of Brisbane, the current staffers are growing deeply distressed about having to relocate to the humid backwater suburbs of Queensland.

Senator Waters was first elected as a senator for Queensland in 2010, as the rest of Australia lurched to the right under Tony Abbott. Her first tilt at politics was at state level in the late 2000s when she ran against the then Premier Peter Beattie in the seat of Brisbane.

With the party’s headquarters now expected to be based out Fortitude Valley, Greens staffers can expect to become witness to complex social issues that cannot be explained in a 10-slide Instagram photographic.