Gen X Dude Has Pair Of Jeans Worth $500 For Some Reason

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A 49-year-old agency droid from Betoota Grove has left friends and family perplexed this week after revealing he owns a single pair of jeans worth more than $500.

Mark Holloway, the self-described human embodiment of C3-PO, says the trousers were purchased in 2023 from a boutique menswear store in the French Quarter, and are made from raw Japanese selvedge denim.

“They’re unwashed, unsanforised, and loomed in Okayama,” Holloway said.

“I wear them three or four times a week, and they’re only getting better with age,” he said.

The jeans, which have never been washed with detergent, are stored in a chest freezer during warmer months to avoid odour build-up. According to Holloway, the jeans have “developed a patina” after years of hard wear, including two seat repairs, one crotch patch, and a rivet replacement.

‘You’ve got to earn the fades. That’s the beauty of it,” Holloway said.

“Anyone can buy a pair of jeans that’ve been faded by a Bangladeshi garment slave. I’m not one of them.”

Holloway, who also owns two Acme vests and has a passive income from a negatively geared townhouse in the Flightpath District, insists the jeans are an investment in quality and says younger Australians just don’t get it.

“They’re buying Kmart tube jeans made from plastic and wondering why they look like shit,” he said.

Relatives say the jeans are typically worn with a crisp white T-shirt and New Balance 624s. Holloway says he is considering buying a second pair later this year but is waiting for the yen to drop.

“It’s all about timing,” he said.

More to come.