Eels Staff Frantically Paint Try Lines Around Each Player To Ensure Correct Social Distancing

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The Parramatta Eels NRL team are frantically working through the coronavirus as best they can this afternoon.

In a sign of the times, the club is tackling the very modern problem with a very old fashioned solution.

Desperate to ensure social distancing guidelines are followed in an effort to get the code up and running by May 28, the Eels have implemented a new team strategy to ensure players follow the rules.

The club has decided to paint try lines around all of its players, to make sure that they don’t go near each other, and breach the protocols handed down by the NRL.

“Pretty clever isn’t it,” explained the Eels trainer Kenny Hindmarsh this afternoon.

“Basically, we know that our players are very scared of the try line, so we’ve got our groundstaff painting try lines all over the field, to ensure the players stay away from each other,” he continued.

“So far it’s worked. Only Gutho, Blake and Maika seem to be interested in approaching the try lines and we’ve effectively eradicated all unnecessary bum slaps and cuddles, which is a huge task.”

“So hopefully it keeps all the boys in line.”

“Fuck, hang on Fergo’s doing front flips again,”

“Blake don’t do that. For fuck sake,” he yelled as the line went muffled and eventually dead.