Tragic Death Of Pet Sea-Monkeys On Barnaby Joyce’s Desk Put Down To Unavoidable Lack Of Rain

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

The Greens have accused the National Party of hiding critical information from the Senate on why the the novelty fishtank on Barnaby Joyce’s desk was drained twice in the four years, as investigations get under way into what caused around 1 million sea monkeys in his office to die.

Further Parliament House sea-monkey-kill events are expected later this week as temperatures soar to 45C.

Sea Monkey enthusiasts and pretty much anyone who understands basic stimulus action/reaction models are refusing to accept that the event was an inevitable result of the drought, as some of the sea monkeys killed were more than several drought cycles.

“It’s not hard to keep the fucken things alive” says one Sea Monkey welfare activist, who we won’t name or acknowledge because the media as a whole has a deep disdain for environmentalists.

“Just give them access to a steady flow of water” reiterated the degenerate pot-smoking tree hugger.

However, Barnaby Joyce MP, and the other National Party representatives of which you can’t name right now – and a few other equally unmemorable NSW state politicians insist there was nothing that could have been done to prevent this tragedy in the heavily monitored body of water that sits literally in front the Deputy Prime Minister.

“Ahhh shit. Not enough rain.” said Joyce.

“That’s the end. Millions more might die too. Just need heaps of rain to momentarily take our minds off what happenend, and is happening. Oh well”

Our reporters attempted to continue asking questions but were paralysed by a cotton tipped poison dart that was discreetly shot into their necks from the back of the party room.