CSIRO Establish Link Between High Wheat Prices And Influx Of Jet Skis In New England

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A recent study by the CSIRO has found that when chickpeas, wheat, barley and canola are doing well, farmers in North-West NSW are complaining a little less about their tortured existence on the land.

Speaking from his completely manicured chick pea farm in the black soiled Liverpool Plains, local cocky Chester Windsor-Hillan (55) says that the successful 2016 harvest was a refreshing change from drought, and that every single member of his family now owns a jet ski.

“Even my granddaughter” he says.

“We don’t know when we are going to have this kind of income again so it’s best to get in quick” says the man who was on the third page of the Sydney Morning Herald eighteen months ago, begging for drought assistance.

“I’m a busted old cocky most of the time…”

“…but when the wheat and chickpeas are going off… Fuck me. I just went through Tamworth and put some of the local townie kids through a helicopter course for the fuck of it”

It is believed that life in North-West New South Wales couldn’t be better for those in Agriculture right now. Unless of course your neighbours have been offered big dollars from a wind power company.

It is also believed that Queensland farmers have gone quiet recently since the price of beef went up as high as it has been in decades.