Cricketing Great Rob Quiney Criticised For Also Attending China Military Parade

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Rob Quiney, the nation’s cricketer’s cricketer, is under siege this morning after it emerged that he too attending the China military parade and rubbed shoulders with the likes of Vladmair Putin, Xi Jinping, Narrandera Modi and local tyrant Dan Andrews.

Local media has been swift to criticise any Australian seen fraternising with the biggest threat to our decadent way of life, which now includes one of the great modern players that never got a fair shake of the sauce bottle.

Quiney played two Tests and retired with an impressive bowling economy of 1.16, a figure much lower than many other of his contemporaries. Since leaving his boots on the hook, the big Victorian has worked in a number of coaching roles and continues to give back to the greatest game on earth.

Speaking to The Advocate today, the mild-mannered Quiney politely declined to comment on his attendance at the parade.

“Fuck off and don’t ring me again, fucken idiot,” said Quiney.

Little is known about why Quiney may have travelled to China, however, the all-rounder is a noted enjoyer of pan-Asian cuisine.

China is allegedly trying to break into the cricketing world as part of their own cultural imperialism program, hoping to break up the current tripod of Australian, British and India hegemony in the sport.

Whether Quiney is in the business of teaching young Chinese men and women how to cover drive, get that drift and drip from their leg spinner, how to get ethical reverse swing after 20 overs and how to give players like Johnny Bairstow body dysmorphia, is unknown but the general consensus at the moment from sports fans around town is play on.

More to come.