Coworker’s Cough Way Too Moist And Chunky For Him To Be In The Office Today

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT

Tensions reached a boiling point in a Betoota Heights marketing agency yesterday morning, after team member Jordan Firth, 34, could be heard descending a fit of wet, syrupy coughs as he clunked away at his keyboard.

Arriving with a keep cup in one hand, and violently coughing into the other, it was quickly evident to everyone but him that he should have stayed home.

Much like every other marketing agency office, ‘One Pump Digital’ operates in an open plan space, which means that everyone within a 100m radius of Jordan was on the receiving end of his cough, which was so deep and guttural, it could be heard reverberating around the room.

Sophie, a PPC specialist who has the unfortunate position of sitting directly across from Jordan, tells The Advocate that she could practically hear the chunks of phlegm shooting out of his mouth every time he coughed into his hand.

“You’d think people would have learned from covid but I guess not.”

“Go home cunt.”

More to come.