Couple Go To Tasmania For Holiday And Don’t Go To Bruny Island

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A mainland couple has shocked Tasmania’s tourism industry this week by spending a ten-day holiday in the Apple Isle without once setting foot on Bruny Island.

The couple, from our town’s cosmopolitan French Quarter, reportedly spent the last hours of their trip visiting MONA, climbing Mt Wellington and buying cheese in Richmond, before flying home without making the obligatory day-trip south of Hobart.

Tour operators say this marks the first time in living memory that visitors have come to the state without demanding directions to the Bruny Island ferry terminal.

“It’s unprecedented,” said ferry operator Barry Fenton.

“Usually I can’t keep up with the blow-ins wanting to line up for oysters, selfies and some story about how they ‘found themselves’ on the Neck. These two just buggered off back to the airport. We’re rattled.”

Locals on the island say the news has been met with mixed emotions. While businesses dependent on the steady stream of Instagram husbands and kombi-driving foodies expressed concern, long-suffering residents quietly admitted they were relieved.

“Don’t get me wrong, tourism’s our bread and margarine,” said Bruny resident Wanita Bong.

“But every weekend it’s the same. Mainland couples marching up the beach in matching Kuntmandu jackets, telling us about how their great aunt used to milk cows in Geeveston. It does your heads in [sic] We were due a no-show.”

Hobart hoteliers say they’re still trying to work out how the couple filled in the rest of their itinerary without Bruny. Reports suggest they spent a suspicious amount of time at Salamanca Market and getting themselves nice and pissed for the plane ride home over a long lunch at Shippies.

Tourism Tasmania has since confirmed it will be launching an investigation, with one spokesperson tell The Advocate that “they’ll be looking closely at how this breach of itinerary occurred, and whether tighter regulations on visitor movement are required.”

The Advocate has reached out to the Tasmanian Government for comment but our calls went straight to message bank.

More to come.