Convo With Surf Shop Employee Much Cheaper Alternative To Buying Tickets To Tony Robbins

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

New research suggests that an experience with a coastal surf shop worker could be a much cheaper and quicker alternative to the renowned week intensive course with life coach Tony Robbins.

The recent study conducted at Betoota University has found that a conversation with surf shop retail worker, stimulates the brain as well as a week’s worth of an American billionaire telling you there is a giant waiting inside of you.

Research leader Dr Genevieve Kimmorley concluded the subtle ways in which surf shop workers boost your mood through positive reinforcement while sharing their carefree life experience causes people to feel a sense of relaxation, perspective and security.

“They speak with a complete lack of urgency, it’s all ‘no worries’ and ‘all sweet’ which makes people feel calm. They refer to you as ‘champ,’ ‘chief’ and ‘ledgy-dedge,’ which can be very empowering. Perhaps they’re doing it just to make you feel better about spending $190 on a pair of boardies but they do make you feel better.”

Grateful for this recent study is the surf shop industry who have been returning lower profits due to the growth of online shopping and ridiculous prices on non-sale items.

“Instead of treating your feet to some hot coals, treat them to a $110 pair of Ripcurl thongs and a conversation with a bloke named Macca or Lochie.”

MORE TO COME.