Clearly Broken Vacuum Makes Enough Noise For Husband To Experience Placebo 

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT

A broken vacuum cleaner that’s practically exhaling dust, has made enough of a physiological difference for a local man to think he’s doing some cleaning up.

The vacuum, which has unknown origins, hasn’t been in working order for a while, but the noise coming out of it reassures local man Hayden Brown (29) that it is doing at-least  something.

The dusty vacuum, which wheezes like a pensioner climbing stairs in winter, gives off just enough of a low industrial hum to simulate productivity.

“Yeah nah it’s definitely picking up something” insisted Hayden, confidently dragging the nozzle over a visibly lint-covered rug.

Hayden’s girlfriend, Emily, has reportedly stopped trying to intervene after realising the charade was more emotionally important than hygienically effective.

“He’s not cleaning the floor so much as he’s showing that he’s willing to clean the floor” she explained.

The vacuum, believed to be from a short-lived Aldi range called “QingLiang Electrik 2000” has survived three house moves and zero servicing.

Experts say it now functions primarily as a white-noise machine for a man that wants to show he’s willing to help with the chores.

Neighbourhood sources confirm Hayden turns it on whenever guests are due, or when he wants to loudly hint that he’s done his bit.

When asked if he plans to replace the vacuum, Hayden muttered something about “the economy” and turned the volume on the footy up.