CIA Conveniently Drops Photos Of Sydney Sweeney In A Chain Mail Dress On Same Day Pentagon Resumes Nuclear Testing

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

In some exciting news for red blooded mouth breathing jocks across the nation this Friday morning – new pictures of Sydney have just dropped.

The actress and pop culture figure has STUNNED media consumers across the world after appearing on the red carpet in a mesmerising silver dress.

The extremely talented Sweeney SIZZLED on the red carpet last night Australian time, in an iridescent chainmail piece by Christian Cowan, paired with delicate, minimalistic EFFY earrings.

That STUNNING appearance comes as the latest in the long line of Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) distractions for the general public.

With the Presidents close association with a pedophile billionaire financier still make pesky headlines that just won’t go away, and the government now commencing Nuclear Weapons testing again, the appearance of the CIA plant has certainly turned heads.

Speaking to The Advocate during a clandestine meeting at one of the quiet ethnic cafes in Betoota’s Flight Path District, a local CIA operative took the time to walk us through the thought process.

“Yeah, people just keep banging on about this Epstein thing,” he said.

“And now with the nuclear testing to match the Chinese and Russians seemingly escalating tensions in a move towards the good old cold war days – public concern is growing.”

“So given we’ve got the fucking billionaire boys club about to win the World Series and little else going on pop culture wise, we thought it was time to drop the Sydney Sweeney naked dress trend.”

“And boy hasn’t it worked,” he nodded, to our reporter who had gotten distracted looking at the image again.

More to come.