Bulldogs Given Clearance To Kick Off ‘Mad Monday’ Today, Ahead Of Suns’ Demolition Of Essendon On Wednesday

JASON BARRY | Victorian Leg Tennis | Contact

Western Bulldogs players have been officially cleared to commence their end-of-season festivities, affectionately known as Mad Monday, today, in what the club is calling a “realistic celebration strategy.”

Sources inside Whitten Oval say the Bulldogs’ decision comes after careful analysis of their tenuous hold on 8th spot on the AFL ladder and the likelihood of Essendon upsetting the Gold Coast Suns on Wednesday.

“It’s simple,” one already tipsy Bulldogs staffer, dressed as a 1920s gangster with a tommy gun in hand, told us.

“If Bombers win, we make finals. But they won’t win, so it’s time to let the dogs out!” He broke into a stirring rendition of Baha Men’s 2000 smash hit Who Let the Dogs Out, and several Bulldogs players nearby joined in the revelry.

“Who let the dogs out?!” he screamed to the pack of Bulldogs who were really starting to kick off back there.

They replied with a chorus of, “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

While the Bulldogs will still very much make finals if the Bombers beat the Suns on Wednesday, club insiders confirm that the entire Bulldogs playing group and coaching staff are unanimous in their thinking.

“Does a bear shit on the pope in the woods in a hat?” one already intoxicated Bulldogs assistant coach said.

“Fuck it. Gotta let the dogs out” he yelled before challenging a Bulldogs player to a Run It Straight competition and coming off second best.

Traditionally a post-season blowout of costume-themed debauchery, Mad Monday has become a rite of passage in the AFL, with clubs often struggling to contain the chaos once the celebrations begin.

The AFL has expressed hope that, given the Bulldogs are technically not quite in the post-season yet, they may keep a bit of a lid on the really crook shit that typically unfolds on days like these.

More to come.