Bloke Buys A Pair Of Scrubs So He Can Enjoy His 9am Pints Without Judgement

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local finance worker has been forced to take extraordinary measures to justify his morning drinking routine, it has been confirmed.

Thirty-three-year-old trading desk analyst Liam McGuire has admitted to purchasing a pair of surgical scrubs online, in an effort to deflect public scrutiny when he orders schooners at nine in the morning.

McGuire, who works nights for a Sydney-based investment bank, says he became tired of the looks he received when he walked into the Gelded Seahorse Hotel in his $220 Kelly Country suit.

“I’m not doing anything wrong,” McGuire told The Advocate.

“The end of my day just happens to line up with the start of everyone else’s. But people see a bloke in a cheap suit with a pint before breakfast and assume the worst. If I’m in scrubs, they think I’ve just come off the night shift at Royal Betoota Base. It’s about perception.”

Pub staff in the French Quarter say McGuire has successfully blended in with early morning hospital workers, many of whom stop in after a long night in theatre.

“He doesn’t draw attention anymore,” said one bartender.

“He just orders his pints, he doesn’t even take his headphones out. Just a robotic consumption of Tooheys New. No one asks questions.”

McGuire claims the $34 investment has already paid dividends.

“I even got a free beer the other day off some bloke who thought I’d just finished a twelve-hour operation. Truth is, I spent the night yelling at markets in Europe.”

At time of press, McGuire was considering purchasing a hi-vis vest to broaden his cover story, after learning that construction workers also face little resistance when drinking before midday.

“Maybe I could be a heroic Betoota Metro worker?”

More to come.