Big Pharma Asked To Come Up With A More Subtle Name For Haemorrhoid Cream

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

Big pharma has been urged to be a bit more creative with the names of haemorrhoid creams, as those suffering bum grapes also have to suffer the indignity of having creams named ‘Anusol’ and ‘Rectinol’ in their possession.

Jack Patton, 32, who suffers from quarterly bouts of haemorrhoids due to his restrictive carnivore diet, says having these kinds of creams lying about doesn’t do much wonders for his love life, should a lady visitor go pilfering through his bathroom cupboard.

“Can they not do something a bit more subtle than having the word anus in the brand name?”, queries Jack, “contraceptive pills get pretty girl names, why can’t bum cream?”

“Why can’t I put some ‘Tiffany’ on my butthole?”

A representative from Anusol says they came up with the name to make it easier for consumers to find the product on shelves, and also, because it’s quite funny.

“The guys at Rectinol were originally thinking of ‘Rectumol’, but thought it was a bit much”, explains Sharee Milligan, head of growth at Anusol.

“Which can be confusing for people looking for retinol.”

More to come.