Australia Outraged And Demanding Answers After Ketut Is Shot In The Arse With A Rubber Bullet

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Australian Government is demanding answers this afternoon as news emerges that Ketut, star of a popular car insurance advert from ten years ago, was shot in the arse with a rubber bullet during a business trip to Jakarta.

The Bali-native is said to be in good spirits and his Australian wife of eight years, Rhonda, shed further light on the incident which is now at risk of becoming a major sticking points between us and our closest geopolitical neighbour.

For the past month or some, riots and unrest has swept across Indonesia after details were leaked which outlined exactly what parliamentarians are pilfering from the national purse.

Hundreds of thousands of ordinary Indonesians have taken to the streets to let their government know that being that dodgy is out of line, which is where Ketut found himself earlier this week.

Ketut, an Australian citizen now, was headed to an international hospitality conference at the W Hotel in Jakarta when he was surrounded by protestors and police.

In the confusion, Ketut’s right arse cheek was nearly shot off his body completely. The rubber projectile is roughly the same dimensions as a limp-wristed city worker’s Frank Green coffee vessel, and about 500 grams in weight. It’s enough for people who have the best of ciruclation to be left with a bruise the size of a bus steering wheel.

Foreign Minister Penny Wong has asked her Indonesian counterpart to make sure the unrest does not spread to Bali and Lombok as most of the Labor left caucus, as well as some assorted 60 year old riff-raff from Camperdown is heading over for the Prime Minister’s bucks trip later this year.

“We are assisting Ketut and making inquiries on his behalf but most importantly we do not want to lose our deposit on the Kuta Airbnb,” said the Foreign Minister.

“I’m sure Anthony would be devastated if we had to cancel and go somewhere incredibly lame like Queenstown. But we have a deep faith and connection with our Indonesian friends and we are confident they will be able to handle the situation. They’re also sorry about almost shooting Ketut with a rubber bullet.”

The Advocate has reached out to the Indonesia Consulate in the French Quarter for comment but has yet to receive a reply.

More to come.