Starting today, 200,000 visas for skilled migrants and students have been made available to boost an Australian economy that has been sitting idle ever since restrictions were placed on overseas arrivals in early 2020.

The lack of foreigners picking fruit and washing dishes have forced Australian conservatives to confront the fact that a radical drop in migration does not make for the glorious protectionist White Australia nirvana that they had always envisioned.

The government says international students should be back in class next year – a lifeline for the Australian education sector whose business models have become entirely dependant on cashed up foreign teenagers paying quadruple to bluff their way through a bachelor of communications.

But it’s not just education that has been suffering.

Almost two full years since the outbreak of the pandemic, the Australian hospitality sector are reporting a worrying shortage of workers – with many claiming that white people just don’t know their way around a kitchen like the skilled visa workers that stopped flowing in after international borders were closed.

However, that all changed today, as restaurant and pub owners around the country made their way to Sydney International Airport to cheer on the first wave of skilled Nepali kitchenhands.

It is believed a direct flight was chartered directly from Kathmandu by the NSW Government, after an opinion poll of Australian restaurant owners found the Nepali people are by far the most in demand foreign workers for any kitchen.

With the ability to nail any cuisine from any continent, and a work ethic not seen in Australia since the gold rush – kitchens around Australia are cheering at the new influx of subcontinental hospo guns.

The Nepali super-cooks were met with hugs and war songs as they arrived to liberate the Australian hospitality sector from the post-lockdown slump caused by spoilt Australians who apparently don’t like hard work, in scenes reminiscent of the allied forces landing on the French coastline in 1944.

Codenamed Operation Neptune, and often referred to as D-Day, the Normandy Landings were the largest seaborne invasion in history, as 156,000 allied soldiers and 195,700 naval personnel began the long march to pushing the German soldiers out of France. The operation laid the foundations of the Allied victory on the Western Front.

Today, just in time for Christmas, the Australian hospo sector saw a D-Day of their very own – as 100 multi-disciplined South Asians pulled in to the Harbour city clutching newly inked working visas.

“The saints are coming” said NSW Premier Perrottet in a press conference earlier today.

“And I’ll have mushroom sauce with my damn schnitzel”


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