Alleged Swannies Die Hard Not Even Aware AFL Grand Final Is This Weekend

KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact

A die hard “Bloods” fan from Sydney’s eastern suburbs has choked on his pale ale this afternoon, after finding out that the AFL Grand Final is actually on this weekend.

As finals footy fever sweeps the deep south, and Melbourne prepares for its biggest weekend of the year, The Advocate can report that 31-year-old Ned Rowbottom from Paddington has been flawed by the news that if he turns on the TV at 2:30pm this Saturday, he’ll see Geelong play Brisbane in the Big Dance.

It’s hardly surprising news for Ned, given he attends upwards of three games a year pending his mates ability to secure him members seats or whether he can find his cute little Swannies scarf which lives under his bed for most of winter.Parked up with a few fellow private school chums this afternoon, it’s believed Ned discovered the news when his fellow “Swannies” supporter mates started discussing their weekend plans.

“Oi, so where should we watch the Cats vs Lions this weekend? Should we book a table somewhere?” promoted Riley Burnett, one of Ned’s mates who actually grew up in Adelaide, and is actually pretty handy at kicking a Sherrin.

“Cats vs Lions? I thought the British and Irish Lions had gone home?” replied Ned, confusing the Rugby squad with the Brisbane Lions, a team that can actually play good AFL footy.

Opening his phone for some quick intel, Ned was pretty surprised that the sport he attends for the sole purpose of picking up other eastern suburbs girls, was hosting its grand final.

And even more surprised to find out his beloved Roosters aren’t playing either.

“Oh yeah right, uhh so sad that the Swannies aren’t in it this year. We should defs go somewhere though, reckon they’ll have it on at any pubs down in Bondi?”

“Aren’t the Roosters playing Saturday night too? I’d be keen to watch that as well.”