Albo And Penny Put The Company Card Behind The Bar At Old Mates After Big Day In The Office

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese is set to end what’s been a hectic day in the office by taking the nation’s Corporate Amex card and putting it behind the bar at the other Australian consulate in New York City.

Sources close to the Prime Minister have told The Advocate that it was Foreign Minister Penny Wong who leaned forward in the maxi taxi to tap on Albanese’s shoulder and make the suggestion they make a detour on the way home.

“I don’t know about you, but I could absolutely fucking murder an icy cold pint of Coopers Pale right now,” Senator Wong allegedly said.

Energy Minister Chris Bowen then clapped and did a little dance in his seat and reportedly said in a faux British accent that he too could inhale six middies of Hahn Super Dry Mid. No more no less, he added.

The Prime Minister then groaned according to the source and said there were no good pubs in New York, just the “bougie shitholes from Sex and the City” or “proper shitholes where they let you throw peanut husks on the floor”.

“You can get most things in New York, Penny, but I don’t think you can get a pint of Coopey,” Albo said.

Penny laughed and slapped him really quite hard on the side of the head.

“Shut up, I know exactly where we can get an ice cold pint of the last great Australian beer.”

Penny directed the cab driver to change the destination to Old Mates Pub, which is in Manhattan’s ‘Gooch District’ between the Brooklyn Bridge and The Battery.

Upon arriving at the venue, Bowen, with no context, began yapping like a small dog.

“OK, we are only saying for one. Maybe three,” the Prime Minister said.

“First round is on the taxpayer, I think we’ve earned it.”

The Advocate reached out to Old Mates Pub for comment but were told the only thing they’d be able to confirm, at this point, is that they don’t have that Hahn Super Dry shit on tap or in the fridge.

More to come.