Ageing Buddhist hopes he doesn’t get reincarnated as a pigeon

21 December, 2016  15:45

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Speaking candidly to The Advocate in the lead-up to the holiday break, local Betootan Buddhist Angyo Genryu wanted to wish the townsfolk a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year – but paused suddenly to reflect on an aspect of his faith that’s been bothering him for some time.

“You know, I’m not getting any younger,” explained the 71-year-old. “Though I meditate and do all that jazz, I’m worried that I’m going to be reincarnated as a pigeon.”

Reincarnation normally is understood to be the transmigration of a soul to another body after death. One of the most fundamental doctrines of Buddhism is anatta, or anatman – no soul or no self.

“While I realise that we can’t all be something dope like a lion, bear or tiger. It’s just that I hate pigeons. Being a dolphin would be pretty sick, but. Unless I came back as a Japanese dolphin and got cut to bits in some cove, that’d be fucked.”

The former roo shooter turned monk then explained why he hated pigeons, recalling a time as a child when an older brother of his threw a dead pigeon into his lap as he sat in his father’s brand new Ford Pilot sedan- scaring the daylights out of him.

“It’s limp little neck was like twisted all the way around and shit. I remember screaming and just projectile vomiting all through Dad’s car. I thought he was about to have a stroke. Anyway, no pigeons for me now.”

More to come.