Affordable Women’s Clothing Remains Committed To Neutral Tones Except For This Particular Shade Of Red

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle

A majority of the nation’s affordable women’s clothing shops have unanimously agreed that only one non colour of clothing is allowed amongst a sea of neutrals, and as long as it’s balanced out by making sure at least 40% of clothes are brown.

The Advocate learns that this decision was secretly made a year ago, and has since then cultivated into the majority of affordable women’s clothing stores in Westfields sticking to a rigid palate.

It can be confirmed that only outliers of this trend are Forever New and Sports Girl, with the latter shop selling clothes that are, although quite vibrant, look like the sort of things a Jojo Siwa style of lesbian would wear.

Our reporter learns more by talking to local style consultant Emma Nolan, who reveals neutrals will likely outnumber any florals this spring.

“Honestly if it were up to me, there’d be even more brown”, laughs Emma, as she gestures towards her own brown tank top, brown pants, and brown shoes.

Emma reveals that his shoppers really are hell bent on wearing colour, they should be able to find a specific shade of red.

“It’s this very specific shade of red, almost always made with cheap as fuck polyester. You’ll know it when you see it”, says Emma.

“And you know what goes really well with a dark red?”

“BROWN!”

More to come.