Adelaide Crows Plead The ‘Bundle Of Sticks’ Defence

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The Adelaide Crows have today pulled out a last ditch attempt to avoid one of their stars being scrubbed out from the finals series.

The likely minor Premiers have reportedly attempted to plead the ‘bundle of sticks’ defence to the AFL, in an effort to prevent Izak Rankine being banned for the rest of the season.

As it stands, the electric Crows star faces the prospect of missing the entire finals series, with the AFL reportedly set to hand down a 5 match ban to Rankine.

Rankine is alleged to have called a Collingwood player an effing eff, in what is the 5th time an AFL player has been reported for using a homophobic slur in the last two seasons.

It’s yet to be revealed why these Victorian Leg Tennis players keep saying stupid homophobic shit, with hopes that another large ban might start driving the message home.

However, with the Crom dreaming of their first premiership since the turn of the century, the Crows head office has apparently sought to try and have the charges dropped to a week or two, max.

“He was literally just calling that other bloke a bundle of sticks man…” said a spokesperson for the Adelaide Crows.

“Like he didn’t even mean it like that,” continued the man doing his best scolded townie 12-year-old impression.

“Like it’s not really degrading or whatever cause he was just using Olde English.”

The AFL has yet to comment on the Olde English defence.

More to come.