Ad Agency Suit Isn’t Jealous Of The Stupid Fucking Creatives Currently In Cannes At All

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports | Contact

One of our town’s least useful people, an ad agency suit, says he’s not jealous at all of all his agency’s creatives currently enjoying the sunshine on the French Rivera.

Speaking to our reporter this afternoon as they stood in line at the French Quarter Guzman y Gomez on Rue De Perceuse Turque, David Green said he’s enjoyed the peace and quiet around the office without all the ‘stupid fucking creatives’ around to make noise and receive unwarranted praise from upper management.

“No, it’s been great,” he said.

“I’m not jealous at all. I’ve been to Cannes and I feel it’s pretty overrated. Nice is much better, plus there’s less tourists. You know what’s a really great thing to go to over there? The Venice Biennial. You know the best thing about it? No creatives.”

David, who often has his name forgotten by people who’ve just met him, continued his rant to our reporter, a perfect stranger, until he reached the front of the queue.

He ordered a mild pulled pork salad with a water, then turned around to see our reporter walked out the door towards Oportos.

More to come.