Man Who Hasn’t Watched Soccer In 4 Years Unimpressed By Tunisian Right Back’s Performance Last Night

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A local Betoota man who hasn’t watched a game of soccer in 4 years was incredibly unimpressed with the shift put in by the Tunisian right back Yassine Meriah in last night’s Group G match between England and Tunisia.

Michael Potts, a 37 year old accountant from West Betoota, has reportedly never had any interest in soccer beyond watching the World Cup every four years while complaining about how SBS keeps hiring female commentators. However, his lack of knowledge or awareness of almost any aspect of the sport or modern society in general has not stopped him passing judgement on those he deems ‘piss poor’ – with Meriah being the latest to come under fire.

“Frankly, it was an embarrassment”, said Mr. Potts of Meriah’s performance last night. “He looked completely out of his depth against that black fella from England. Think it was Ronaldo or something, if I’m not mistaken. If I was him I’d never show my face in public again”

“It’s like he’s never even played a game of soccer in his life! Or ‘futbol’, as us fans like to say, ha ha”, said Mr. Potts of the professional footballer.

Despite the harsh criticism, Mr. Potts did offer some sage wisdom to Meriah, in the hope that the 24 year old defender can lift his game in time for the crucial clash against Belgium on Saturday night.

“He just needs to train a bit harder”, said the man who last week ran out of breath walking down the road to the chippy. “I reckon he can really pull it back if he puts his head down and gets to work”

“I mean, the kid does have potential. Who knows, if he works hard, he might even be as good as Madonna one day”