Triple J’s IT Guy Warns The Gays May Be Conducting A Brute Force Attack On The Hottest 100 List

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

With just hours left before voting closes on the Triple’s The Hottest 100 of Australian Songs, all hands are on deck at the public broadcaster to ensure every runs smoothly.

Similar to the yearly Hottest 100 new songs in January, this winter’s list is dedicated to the to the homegrown music that has resonated across generations and defined the Australian sound.

The best Australian songs, off all time.

This is a much wider net for voters than the usual Hottest 100. Right around the country, voters have been taking part in the painstaking task of picking their top ten.

However, with such fierce tribalism within Australian music – the organisers of this ballot Triple J say they are deeply concerned about certain fanbases taking part in factional vote-stacking.

“Gotta watch out for the Queenslanders” says Triple J’s long-suffering IT guy, Spencer Myfrobbins (55).

“They obviously want to sway this whole thing towards Powderfinger. They are campaigning heavily. From the Premier to their sports stars. They are treating like a football match”

The localism of the domestic scene has also seen a big push for ‘Khe Sanh’ and ‘Nosebleed Section’ from the South Australians, who take great pride in punching above their weight when it comes to musical exports.

However, as the IT guy points out, the homosexuals are by far the most vicious in their efforts to alter the result of this historic list.

“The gays. They are moving heaven and Earth to get Kylie Minogue to number one” says Spencer.

“Obviously there’s patterns so I can tell who is and isn’t gay judging by their lists.”

As Triple J’s IT professional points out, he can also tell what age the gays are.

“Savage Garden features heavily with the older gays. Whereas Troye Sivaun signifies youth.”

“There’s always one Killing Heidi or Missy Higgins song from their formative teenage years. But yes, Kylie features on every list”

“And I’m pretty sure every single homosexual in Australia has been recruited to gerrymander this result. It’s like Eurovision but they gays are all united. This is a brute force attack on our systems. I’ve never seen anything like it”