Tour Down Under Set To Be Re-Branded As The ‘Santos Heat Endurance Event’

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The sporting world is this week coming to terms with a major change to the cycling calendar. 

After another absurdly hot Tour Down Under (which definitely has NOTHING to do with the contributions of fossil fuel companies like the headline sponsor Santos) - the global cycling community has decided to rebrand the major Australian event. 

“Yeah, we think it’s time to modernise the event and bring it into line with community expectations and understanding,” said a spokesperson for the UCI (global cycling body). 

“So with the cyclists having to be out on the tarmac for long periods of time in 40 degree days, we just thought we’d tweak how it’s named and marketed.”

“That’s why, moving forward, it will be known as ‘Santos Heat Endurance Event.’”

The move comes as the Race prepares for Stage 4 tomorrow, which will take place in 42 degree heat with the event website describing it as; “Assembling the toughest Santos Tour Down Under yet means ratcheting up the degree of difficulty even on familiar terrain. Case in point: Willunga Hill. In previous years riders have made one or perhaps two ascents; here they will conquer its punishing slopes three times.”

The move has received mixed reviews across the board - with some praising it for being a more honest representation of the headline (not major, because apparently they don’t even pay that much money) sponsor - while others have argued that it’s a disturbing indictment on the state of greenwashing in sport. 

“Yeah, I mean maybe we could actually have a conversation about the headline sponsor being a giant fossil fuel company that’s part of the reason why the event seems to be run in hotter conditions year on year,” said one local cycling fan. 

“Or why Santos has such a cushy relationship with the South Australian Government…” 

“Or maybe they could go the way of the Australian Open who dumped them  a couple of years ago because players melting in the blazing sun wasn’t a great look next to the Santos logo.” 

“Anyway, just a couple of thoughts,” he laughed. 

More to come.