Local Man Delivers Rousing Churchill-Style Voice Note To Get The Boys Out For 'One Last Big One' Before Winter

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

An Old City District project manager has reached deep into his Year 10 history education to deliver what sources are calling the most stirring piece of oratory the group chat has seen since Davo's best man speech.

Ben Coyne, sent a four-minute voice note to "Dog Cum Boys" at 4:47pm this afternoon, urging the boys to rally for one final session at the Royal Commercial Railway Hotel before winter kills the vibe.

The voice note opened with a heavy exhale.

"Even though large tracts of the group chat and many once-reliable drinking companions have fallen into the grip of winter and all the miserable apparatus of having a girlfriend, we shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall drink in the beer garden. We shall drink on the balcony and on the footpath. We shall drink with growing confidence and growing bar tabs in the back bars. We shall defend the Friday arvo, whatever the cost may be. We shall drink in the car park. We shall drink in a stranger's apartment at 2am. We shall drink at the TAB and we shall drink in the pokies. We shall never surrender. And if, which I do not for a moment believe, this group chat were left on read and the boys did not show, then I shall carry on alone, at the Royal Commercial, skipping dinner and, until such time as the lads come to their bloody senses."

The voice note has received three laugh reacts, one thumbs up from Davo, and has been left on read by four others. Thommo replied "I'll see what the wife says," which veterans of the chat recognise as a confirmed no.

Coyne remains undeterred. He has reportedly already claimed the last sunny table in the beer garden.

More to come.