Today Should Have Been The First Day Of Regional Victoria's Commonwealth Games. This Is What That Bastard Dan Andrews Took From Us

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A solemn mood has swept across regional Victoria today - as the people of Gippsland, The Grampians and the Goulburn Valley think about what could have been.

Today was supposed to be the first day of the 2026 Rural Victorian Commonwealth Games. A moment for the state's regions to shine. A chance to see the very best of the non-American English-speaking world's track and field stars - as well as all of the other summer sports.

If only Dan Andrews hadn't intervened to destroy what was tipped to be one of the most electrifying Australian sporting exhibitions since the 2000 Olympics, in his parting gift to the people of Victoria.

In 2023, fresh off the back of Dan's sick experiment during the Pandemic, it was announced that the state government would scrap the Commonwealth Games, it blamed significant cost blow-outs for the knee-jerk decision to no longer host this exciting event in several towns across regional Victoria.

After initially budgeting $2.6 billion for the Games, Dan Andrews claimed skyrocketing costs would eventually blow-out to at least $6 billion. That's what he said publicly anyway.

Instead, his government announced a $2 billion spending package for regional Victoria to deliver the promised, and currently unfinished, sporting upgrades that they would've built for the event.

With the 2026 Commonwealth Games now relocated back to their 2014 hosts in Glasgow, Scotland - the world must wait for the British Summer to arrive before we can enjoy the spectacular athleticism that comes with such an exciting quadrennial international multi-sport carnival.

The following list is just a few of the many highlights and long-term benefits that Dan Andrews TOOK from not just Victoria, but Australia and the world.

A breathtaking opening and closing ceremony

Anyone who is old enough to remember it will tell you that the 1982 Brisbane Commonwealth Games was a major moment for the Queensland capital.

Not only was the potential of our beautiful industrial inner-city waterfront on show for the world, but so were our stage designers and choreographers. From the giant winking Kangaroo to controversial flash mob that made out the shape of Australia but forgot to include Tasmania.

The very best athletes in the world, excluding both American continents except Guyana and Canada, and all of Europe.

There's not many opportunities to see the world's best athletes giving it their all. Aside from that other major sporting exhibition that happens every four years, the Commonwealth Games are the only chance we have to see non-American or European countries standing on the finishing blocks.

Sure, the Caribbean countries still dominate the sprinting - but at least they only send track stars that are more of a match for countries like Australia and New Zealand. It makes for a more competitive race!

A tourism boom

Dan Andrews took a lot of things from the people of Victoria. He took their freedom, their social cohesion, and all of their rich and cool people moved north to Byron and the Gold Coast. But outside of his sick experiment during the pandemic, he also took a fortnight of caravan park and roadside motel bookings from the people of Gippsland and nearby regions.

New housing supply

In the midst of a brutal housing crisis, should we really be saying no to building more medium density unit blocks? The 2026 Commonwealth Games athlete village could've been easily flipped into private luxury regional townhouses and apartments.

Now all we've been left with is half-finished infrastructural projects in Geelong, Ballarat, Bendigo, and Gippsland.

Highly entertaining round-the-clock TV coverage on 10Peach

In the sporting lull of mid-March, the electric coverage of the 2026 Commonwealth Games would've been a very welcome two-week sporting broadcast. Instead, we are left with the low-octane opening rounds of the AFL, NRL and Super Rugby. Boring.

Public art!

One thing that a major global festival of sporting excellence can do four a country is convince the politicians to cough up for some permanent public art. These installations quite often turn into long-term tourism landmarks.

Take for example, the Queensland Government's decision to commission a New York-based artist collective to pull together the iconic $2 million 'GOLD COAST' sign, made from street lights.

This artwork was so popular it eventually had to be removed from the side of the M1 Motorway, and relocated somewhere more accessible.

Important political dialogue

Activists and academics spend a lot of their times looking for the right springboard for their ideas and conversations. In 1982, the Brisbane Commonwealth games provided just that. What better moment to protest the fact that the Bjelke-Petersen government's special branch had murdered over 40 left-wing activists than when the Queen of England was in town?

And didn't their protests generate some coverage! So much so, that over 400 protestors got arrested and many more took a baton to the jugular.

A boost to our regional sports grassroots

The 2018 Gold Coast Commonwealth Games saw a significant incident involving over 200 African athletes and officials who went missing or sought asylum. Most of these runaways ended up hiding out in Logan and suburban Brisbane, only emerging years later in local boxing promotions.

Now just imagine what rural Victoria's local Aussie Rules comp would look like if they had the same opportunity to poach some of the best athletes on the African continent!