Ten Eyewitness News to be replaced by Naked News in bid to save network

| Editor-at-large | Contact

The under-siege Ten Network announced this morning that their flagship news programme is set to be replaced by a locally-produced version of the controversial syndicated news and current affairs show Naked News.

Ten Eyewitness News will air for the last time this Sunday night, ending a 52-year-long chapter in quality broadcast journalism.

“It is truly a sad day,” said Ten financier Lachlan Murdoch.

“However, this heralds a new dawn for Ten. A new dawn of ratings success and an actual revenue stream. I am optimistic about the future. However, my chequebook is emphatically shut to Channel Ten now. I’m sorry, but if Naked News can turn things around, we’ll talk.”

Naked News, billing itself as “the program with nothing to hide”, is a Fox-owned news half-hour featuring strippers reading actual news stories. The female and male cast members read the news fully nude or disrobe as they present their various segments, including entertainment, sports, movies and culture.

While all existing news staff at Eyewitness will have the opportunity to join the Naked News, it’s understood by The Advocate that the only current presenter keen on staying on is firebrand weatherman Tim Bailey.

“You’ve got to have something in it for the ladies,” shouted Bailey.

“And that something is me. You bet your bottom dollar I’ll do the weather in the full-monty. You should see some of the fan letters I get. Mate, even the ‘Bailey’s Weather Shots’ inbox is half full of nude selfies,”

“Catch me at 5:15 PM on Monday if you want to see me naked.”

More to come.