Report: Young People Drinking Less Because A Schooner Costs The Same As A Fucken Zinger Box Did Ten Years Ago
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Right around the country, some of our nation's greatest business and political minds are
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Sussan Lets Out An Exhausted Sigh As Another Respected Member Of Her Broadchurch Says He Thinks The Gays Are Pretending
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Liberal Party’s identity crisis is escalating this week, as high-ranking Coalition figures warn the
REVEALED: How Your Weather App Actually Decides If It’s Going To Rain
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A look into Australia’s most trusted source of hourly disappointment has revealed how the nation’
Good Charlotte Show Set To Be The Biggest Thing To Happen To Bendigo Since Someone Discovered Gold There
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT 174 years after alluvial gold was discovered in Bendigo Creek, the Loddon Mallee region of north-central
Birdwatcher Aunty Not At All Surprised The Tawny Frogmouth Won With All These Blow-Ins Voting Nowadays
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact An avid avian fan has today denounced The Guardian’s Bird of the Year results, declaring
Self-Care Now A Common Euphemism For ‘Actively Not Giving A Fuck About Other People’
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Self-care, ie taking some time to prioritise your own mental, physical and spiritual well-being sounds like
Gen-Z No Longer Drinking As Much As Millennials Did When 30 Cans Cost $35 And The Cops Didn’t Give A Shit About Noise Complaints
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT You’ve heard the theories about young people not longer getting on the piss with friends,
“We Aren’t Having Kids In This Climate” Says Young Couple Whose Parents Had Them During A Nuclear Arms Race
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A pair of young lovers have today revealed to The Advocate the huge decision they have
Dark And Secluded Park The Best Route For Local Woman’s Walk Home, Says Apple Maps
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A local woman is starting to suspect her Apple Maps may be trying to get her
Barnaby Joyce Calls For Big John To Be Put Down
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT One of Australian politics’ greatest headline generators has struck again today, it can be confirmed. Barnaby
Nation’s Car Theft Epidemic Directly Linked To Scrapping The Service That Successfully Reduced Car Theft
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia’s car theft crisis is now so dire that it’s even making the ABC
Former Gifted Child Furious She’s Not Immediately Great At New Hobby
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A woman learning an instrument for the first time has deluded herself into thinking she may
AFL Media Squeeze As Much Juice As They Can Out Of The Trade Window Before They Get Replaced By Skull and Punter
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the Northern parts of the East Coast go about their offseason glumly waiting for the