Word Of The Week: Apricity (The Beautiful Warmth Of The Winter Sun)
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Naplan scores dropping and literacy seemingly slipping away in an age of autocorrect, The Betoota
The Nation
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LA Olympic Closing Ceremony To Feature A Lime Green Maloo Cutting Hoops And Peeling Out Of The Stadium In Anticipation For Brisbane
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Brisbane 2032 Olympics team has announced that the closing ceremony of the 2028
The Rest Of The World Clearly Unable To Handle This Street Shit
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The rest of the world has embarrassed itself on the global stage this weekend, after some
Aussie Tourist With A Face Full Of Parisian Rack Accidentally Wins Gold In Power Walking
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT An Australian tourist has unintentionally won the gold medal in the Olympic power walking event after
Men’s Pentathlon Show Jumping A Good Enough Reason To Go To The Pub Apparently
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact As the economy hurtles towards the recessional cliff, a group of young men have today sought
Coles To Trial Armed Guards In Self-Checkouts As A Lethal Deterrent To Criminals Attempting To Steal Food
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Supermarket conglomerate Coles is set to trial placing armed guards at the self-checkout
Fears Of An Imminent World War And Global Recession Soothed By The Resurgence Of Josh Hartnett
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As three continents bubble on the brink of full-scale military conflicts, and Wall Street desperately
Dry July Well And Truly Over As Office Pisshead Asks If Everyone’s Still On For Work Drinks In 6 Hours
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Moist August is in full swing, it has been confirmed. This comes as a usually chirpy
Just Fuck Up And Win Some Medals You Soft Cocks
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The thousands of Englishmen that have ruined both the lives of innocent families and business-owners
City Worker Wins LinkedIn By Cutting The Shit And Posting Short Video Of Himself Performing Autofellatio
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Worthless office drone Brad Jenkins has taken won LinkedIn today according to colleagues and
Public Servant Recalled To The Office Fears They Might Have To Actually Complete Tasks In Return For Money Again
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Betoota Shire Council has announced that all public servants will be recalled to
Suburban Chinese Restaurants Booked Out As Australia Pays Tribute With A Succulent Chinese Meal
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Jack Karlson, widely known for his theatrical arrest outside a Fortitude Valley restaurant in 1991, has
Bloke Called Keegan From The Gold Coast Obviously Wins Gold In Skateboarding
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Australia has gone bang bang bang bang overnight, with a mid 1800s Victorian style gold rush.