Shirvo Shifts Nervously On Sunrise Couch As Story Of Penis Doping At Winter Olympics Emerges
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Sunrise Star Matt 'Shirvo' Shirvington has this week found himself awkwardly fumbling his way
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Dutton Yet To Condemn Neo-Nazis Waving That Flag He Loves So Much On That Date He Wants Them To Celebrate So Badly
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Federal Opposition Peter Dutton has today realised just how hard it is to be a populist
Tipsy Woman Facing Lull In Convo Decides To Share Some Red Hot Stories She’ll Regret For The Rest Of Her Life
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A woman who already knows she’s reckless on the piss has made the cardinal sin
Boyfriend Only Really Needs Constant Access To Wikipedia/Google Maps And He’s All Sweet
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Betoota woman, Lilian Mack (30) has grown to accept that her boyfriend, Pete (31), doesn’t
Flag Cape Crew Too Rooted By Cozzie Livs To Join Dutton’s Annual Jan 26 Culture War
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The unmistakable smell of burnt sausages and bad decisions is noticeably absent from Betoota’s French
Giant Stinky Flower Gives Sydney Something To Do
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact For the first time since 2014, inner-city Sydney is the place to be! In the midst
Uni Student And Talkback Radio Dad Give Samurai-Esque Bow Before Discussing Australia Day
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A local bloke and his father have encountered each other in their kitchen, just days away
Brisbane Hot Enough For Locals To Start Visiting Public Libraries
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Queensland’s heatwave is set to peak today, with locals praying for a cooler change to
City Worker Patiently Waits For StoryPark Update To See What Egregious Outfit Husband Put The Kid In Today
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A high-flying corporate mum is refreshing her inbox this morning, eagerly awaiting today’s StoryPark update.
Greens Reveal Ground Breaking Policy To Make Tomato Sauce Squeeze Packets Free Nation Wide
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Greens leader Adam Bandt has today announced that in addition to making public schools free, they’
CIA Amused By How Easy It Would Be To Assassinate Government Figures, Train Guerillas And Create A Power Vacuum In Greenland
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The world’s favourite terrorist organisation incubator has today spoken to The Advocate about its potential
Regional TV Audiences In Mourning After Revelations That Rivers Is Shutting Down
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Viewers of TV channels like Imparja, WIN and NBN are today reeling after some terrible business
Dutton Misses Out On A Full Week Of Culture War Headlines Thanks To January 26 Falling On A Sunday
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Federal Opposition leader Peter Dutton’s hopes for beginning 2025 with a bang have been neutralised