Sydney's Afternoon HIIT Classes Empty As The Gays Need Two Hours To Get To Accor Stadium

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

Boutique gyms across central Sydney are reporting empty classes this afternoon, as the city’s gays have been forced to skip their HIIT to get to Accor stadium in time.

This comes as talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it pop superstar Lady Gaga is set to perform in Sydney tonight for the first time in ten years, having completed her circuit in Melbourne last weekend.

For Sydney gays, most of whom tend to live within a 5km radius of Darlinghurst, this means they need to allow themselves at least two hours after work to get ready and travel to the hellhole that is the Sydney Olympic park.

Located near Homebush, this arena has continued to be a thorn in the side of anyone living in the eastern suburbs. These journeys can take anywhere from an hour to even two, depending on the level of traffic and if there’s more than one event at a time - such as the infamous time the Matilda’s were playing the same night as Luke Combs.

Speaking to Sydney based F45 trainer, Bernard Loo, our reporter learns that trainers have time off this afternoon as no one has signed up to the 5:15pm class.

“Whereas Mardi Gras was the busiest time of year for our gym, it appears the gays have deserted us for Gaga”, laughs Bernard, “but there’s already been some guilty signups for our Monday morning class."

Unfortunately as the concert will likely finish between 10 - 11pm, the gays will sadly have the make the long train ride back to city if they want to kick on.

More to come.