Sydney Roosters Administrators Immediately Begin Shredding Documents

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Following the Sydney Rooster’s 14-8 win over the Canberra Raiders, executive staff members ordered to watch the fort at the Roosters’ HQ have immediately begun destroying any form of a paper trail.

This includes third-party contracts, players contracts and of course any minutes of any meeting with Eastern Suburbs business owners that may or may not have resulted in a couple boys getting a house built for them down on the beach.

“Go! go! go!” shouts one executive from the top floor, named Bronte.

“Quick. Fucken move. The integrity unit will be coming in here with a door ram any minute. Destroy it all”

Speaking to local club members who have volunteered to help in the post-Grand Final bell clean up, the Betoota Advocate was informed that it’s great to see the boys get a win.

“It’s an amazing feeling” said one local club volunteer, Artie Rubin, as he began pouring kerosene into a steel garbage can of highly confidential documents.

“Oi, you got a match? Gotta get down to the clubhouse for the homecoming”

“Quick, hurry up cunt. Move it”

At time of press, there were six garbage cans roaring in the executive floor of the Roosters offices.