Sydney Cafes Relieved To Not Make Another ‘Extra Large Cup Of Chino With Two’ As Queenslanders Finally Fuck Off Home

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

The operators of Sydney’s vibrant cafe sector can finally exhale today, after being forced to spend four days making the largest and milkiest coffees possible.

Over 30,000 Queensland rugby league fans have finally vacated the Harbour City, following a long weekend of hedonism mixed with a bit of sightseeing, as they poured into NSW to cheer on the mighty Brisbane Broncos to their first NRL premiership in 19-years.

The presence of the excitable Broncos fanbase was well and truly felt by the baristas and waitstaff of Sydney’s cafe precincts, all of whom have spent the last four days making ‘extra large cup of chinos with two’

As one cafe operator from Surry Hills points out, Sydney’s baristas have quickly learn how to translate the unorthodox requests of Queenslanders seeking caffeine.

“It’s not just the cup of chinos” says Sydney-barista, Martin Potts.

“The more cultured Queenslanders request ‘motchas’ and ‘Expressos’

“Always with two sugars. One woman basically just asked me to make a milkshake with two shots of coffee in it”

The meals, however, are not as complex.

“They want tomato sauce on everything” says Milson Broadway, another cafe owner from inner-Sydney

“They love potato too. This is the first time I’ve ever been asked to serve a side of chicken-salted chips with bacon and eggs”

“This whole weekend really felt like an attack on the artform”

Back in Brisbane, however, the party does not appear to have stopped. Over 10,000 Broncos fans turned out to the club’s post-Premiership fan day at Suncorp Stadium yesterday afternoon, and the players were scene raging in the city’s dive pubs and rooftop bars until the early hours of this morning. Some of the players are still wearing their game-day kit, and almost all of them are wearing sunglasses. More of the same can be expected today, and Brisbane’s publicans are praying for the opportunity to play host to the very pissed and poorly behaved champions of the Brown Snake.