Sussan Ley's Office Hire NRL Legend Wayne Bennett To Teach Her The Art Of Redneck Whisperering

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Liberal leader Sussan Ley could face a spill motion as early as next week, depending on whether the conservative backers of Angus Taylor feel they have the numbers to support the challenge.

With One Nation surging in the polls, and Coalition backbenchers attempting to correct these numbers by lurching to the far-right, Sussan Ley is being pulled into a number of different directions.

After losing two elections due to female voters fleeing to Labor and the Teals, Ley is by far the most electable Liberal MP that is still standing after the bloodbath 2025 election.

However, with little to no moderates left in her party, the vast majority of Sussan Ley's bandwidth is dedicated to negotiating with the man-boobed rednecks in her own party who think that climate change is a communist myth and that gays are pretending.

With her back against the wall, Sussan Ley has had no option but to hire the one man that has proven succesful in keeping these kinds of hicks in line.

NRL legend Wayne Bennett.

Having coached all types of men in his 1000-match career as a football coach, Wayne Bennett knows how to code-switch between the corporate box and general admission. Even when dealing with a membership that is made of deadshit geriatrics who still think we are living in the 1950s.

Further more, Wayne Bennett knows how to rein in the rednecks and racists, having tamed the many hot-headed and reactionary rugby league fanbases that exist in greater Brisbane, St George, Newcastle and indeed South Sydney.

As someone who has made an art out of humiliating and tormenting the ambulance-chasing Murdoch journalists that constantly attempt to twist his words and destabilise his leadership, it seems that Wayne Bennett has the formula that Sussan Ley desperately needs - if her leadership is to survive the first week of February.

Preliminary discussions have begun between the Federal Opposition leader's office and Wayne Bennett, who has got over a month cleared in his schedule before Vegas Round kicks off.

It is believed the first bit of advice that Wayne Bennett has offered the Liberal leader is "Win some matches"