Supermarket Bosses Thrilled By Opportunity To Begin Charging $13 For A Packet Of Salt And Vinegar

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Executives at our nation's two big supermarkets are rubbing their greasy palms together this week, as they spot a prime opportunity to hike their prices up even further.

With things kicking off in the middle east, and consumers already feeling the pinch at the petrol bowser, it’s understood the execs at Woolies and Coles are stroking themselves silly, now that they can juice up their margins beyond a level even the most dishonest Aussies would call “taking the piss”.

Despite the fact Coles are still nursing some burns after being dragged over hot coals at the ACC over their “Down Down” pricing strategy, The Advocate understands the new war in the middle east has provided the prime chance to do it all again, and probably go even further.

In a board room meeting held on level 15 of their glass tower on Bourke St, Melbourne, the slimy execs have been holding a proverbial measuring contest, to discuss how far they can push their price hikes.

“Footy season’s back, you know what those common plebs love, big bags of chips!” laughed one exec, “Let’s launch those Deli ones up to $12… ha ha ha ha!”

“Pfftttft, mate we had them on special for $9 the other day, I reckon we could even go $13!” fired back another, as we wiped a snotty nose on his Gazman suit jacket.

Meanwhile over at Woolies HQ, it’s believed the other duopoly supermarket won’t be backing down in the face of WWIII either, and is planning an all out assault on the wallets of hard working, suburban Australians from next week.

“Lol my mate at Coles just texted me to say they’re gonna have a crack at $13 for Salt & Vinegar chips, those crumby bastards…” said one Woolies pricing analyst.

“Let’s stitch those pricks at Coles royally and offer one bag for $14, but 2 for $20 as a weekly special next week. It’s perfect, just in time for Easter.”

More price hikes to come.