Superbowl LX To Host The Battle Of Sad White Boys Vs Angry White Boys

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Superbowl LX is sure to get the attention of white boys with two of America's most influential white boy cities going head to head.

The highly anticipated showdown between Seattle's Seahawks and Boston's New England Patriots pits each end of the white boy spectrum against the other.

Boston, known in pop culture for its loud, short tempered and in your face 'southie' white boy, will be facing their spiritual opposite in the form of Seattle, home of grunge music, west coast hipsters, and men that are far too in touch with their emotions.

36 year old Mike Boston is already very agitated about the game. 

With an innate fear that the refs are against him, he’ll be watching the game standing up, pacing between the couch with a millers lite in hand, shouting instructions at the TV while his brother in law is shouting at him to move out the way.

Meanwhile in Seattle, 33 year old Parker is hopelessly pessimistic of the game, making huge efforts not to get his hopes up even slightly because nothing seems to ever go his way in life. 

Parker expects to spend the majority of the game sipping on a batch of IPA's while mocking the conformity of the halftime show.

“Whole league’s been against us all yea'. Refs been on our ass since week one. That guy out there tonight? Absolute piece a shit. Calls nothin’ our way. You tell me how that’s fahh. You can’t.” said Mike.

“Yeah, we’ll probably lose somehow. That’s kind of how it goes. Football’s sort of dumb when you think about it, but whatever.” said Parker.

However, despite the vastly different psyches that exist within the upper corners of the American continent, both fansbases can at least look forward to some exciting and joyful Puerto Rican music at halftime.

It is believed the sad white boys will try their best to appreciate Bad Bunny's halftime show, while the angry white boys will likely be watching Kid Rock on YouTube.