Suburban Weed Dealer Torn Between Spending Profits On A Vintage Samurai Sword Or 190-Litre Fish Tank

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

There's simply no point in living a life of low-level crime, risking up to 3 to 4 months in prison, unless you're going to enjoy the finer things.

That's according to a mildly succesful purveyor and distributor of illegal cannabis in the middle class suburbs of Betoota.

Braydean Muckson (28) has been about that life for quite a few years now - slinging dope from the Glen 20 and cigarette smoke- infused black leather couch in his Betoota Heights townhouse.

There's a reason he hasn't lost his customers to the medical cards and dispensaries. Efficiency, discreetness, and the fact that he's a pretty chill guy.

There's also a reason he's never been pinched. He's got his code.

He won't deal in industrial amounts, he doesn't fuck with powders or tabs, and he simply refuses to sell sticks to anyone under 14. That last one is non-negotiable.

Furthermore. There's no paper trial. No cash that the cops could possibly find if they ever raided him for selling $900 worth of hydroponic buds each week.

Everything is tied up in assets. He's got a top of the line e-bike, air fryer, 3D TV, 9 carat gold plated drink coasters, and a balcony covered in those egg shaped bubble chairs that hang from the roof.

But the holidays over, Braydean has got another couple stacks burning a hole in his secret compartment underneath the bathroom sink.

He needs to wash the cash immediately, and right now he's looking at a 150 litre Red Sea Reefer-S 550 G2+ Deluxe System.

You throw in a few fighting fish and some fake coral, you're making money every day this thing sits in your living.

Or does he go with the vintage Samurai sword from Okinawa. Again, it's a great investment, but far less interactive. It just sits on the wall, unless there's another trained expert around.

Or does he add to his already existing collections of recycled scrap metal gargoyles and Transformers figurines?

MORE TO COME.