Stomach Bug Results In Aussie Kid Learning Quite A Lot About Mixed Team Ski Jumping

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A bad bout of gastro has spread through the classrooms of Russ Hinze Memorial Primary School in Betoota's Flight Path District this week, as droves of families now make preparations to have their kids home sick.

One of the tin lids is young Jordie Bojangles (8) who has been spewing for a couple days now.

While this kind of short-lived tummy bug is usually a net-positive for Aussie kids, the usual programming of missing school for non-stop screen time has changed in recent months.

The government's new laws banning under-16s from accessing big platforms has emboldened the nation's parents to confiscate all screens from the house and park them in front of the telly.

For the first time in his life, Jordie is now getting familiar with this ancient rating system of G, PG, M and MA.

It appears to be a very complex and thorough censorship system that he has never known on the wild west of the internet, where Jordie was treated to all kinds of violent and explicit content without any supervision.

Instead, he now has no option but to watch two full days of the Winter Olympics.

With no 'second screen' to distract him from the slight lulls in coverage, Jordie finds himself learning quite a lot about the wide range of obscure sporting events that he'd never heard of.

By lunchtime yesterday, he found himself becoming quite the mixed-team Ski Jumping enthusiast, as well as the Big Air snowboarding events and skeletons.

Tomorrow, the 'TV ads' tell him that curling and figure skating begins. If these poached apples and lemonade don't fix his tummy before then, he'll be tuning in with just as much enthusiasm.

His parents have noticed that his interest has peaked - and while they aren't yet commiting to a family holiday to the Snowy River - his dad does have a little treat for him.

"You're gonna love this movie, Jordie" says Dad, as he grabs the TV remote after dinner.

It's time for Cool Runnings.