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Rugby Australia (RA) has today announced a drastic new measure that it hopes will win the country a World Cup.

With the Japan World Cup just months away now, RA CEO Raelene Castle confirmed this morning that the Wallabies will be kitting themselves out in baggy, loose fitting cotton jerseys from a time when politicians saw out full terms.

“We’ve tried a lot to fix the problems with Rugby in this country,” said Castle too reporters this morning.

“Obviously we haven’t tried to gut Rugby Australia and look at systematically overhauling the way the game is run, but we have tried a lot with players and coaches and organisational name changes and all that,” she said.

“Nothing has worked so far, and that’s why we are going to roll out the old school jerseys in the hopes that they stimulate the winning culture from era’s past when we used to win World Cups and beat the All Blacks more than once in a calendar year.”

Castle then explained that the new jerseys would have those outrageously large collars on them as well.

“Even if they are so loose that giant All Blacks forwards can fling our players over the sideline, the cultural impact of the jersey change will reap dividends we hope.”

The Rugby boss then went on to rebut any suggestions that fingerless gloves would be making a comeback as well.

“Absolutely not, those things were horrendous,” Castle said.

“Only weirdos at the gym wear those.”


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